Humorous Tidbits from 2006The diagnosis of diabetes changes you and your family forever. However, in between the challenges of caring for diabetes come amusing moments that remind us of the important things in our lives, like our families and laughing.
This morning Taylor noticed a jet stream in the sky from a plane that had flown by recently. She said, "Hey Mom, that must be where the space ship Lantus took off." It took me a moment to realize she thought she was looking at the jet stream where the Space Shuttle Atlantis had taken off.
My daughter, 4, recently diagnosed with type 1, tells everyone she knows and even those she doesn't to look at her new "bling-bling" bracelet. "It says I have di-da-betes!"
Our 9 year old son has had type 1 since he was three and has just started playing hockey. The team is having hockey photos taken next week. The required form asks "What is your favorite pro team?" Because I didn't know, I asked Jonathan what his favorite pro team was. He thought for a while and then answered "Fried Chicken." I looked at him funny and said "Fried Chicken is your favorite professional hockey team?" He laughed and said, "Oh, I thought you asked me what my favorite protein was!"
Our youngest group of campers at Camp Koral Kids in Coral Springs, Florida are 5 and 6 years old, but have the wit and wisdom of adults. Diabetes education is an important component of camp and we try to incorporate it in all we do. When quizzing the little ones on diabetes concepts we get all kinds of great responses, but the best one by far was their response to the question of what we check for when our blood sugar is above 240. Their group response was "PEE-tones"! Kind of sums it all up, huh?
My 6-year-old diabetic granddaughter (Ashley) was explaining to her 4-year old sister what it was like learning to read. What she meant to say was "First you start with basic reading." What she actually said was, "First you start with basal reading."
My five year old son has diabetes. I was explaining to him the difference between type 1 and type 2. I told him that those who have type 2 do not always need insulin shots but can instead eat healthy and exercise. Now whenever he goes out to ride his bike he tells me how he wishes that he had type 2 because he would just ride his bike all day until his diabetes went away.
My daughter was diagnosed at three years old. One day she asked how she got diabetes. I told her she's made up of parts of mommy and daddy, those parts are called "genes." Daddy's diabetic. She told me she knew how she got diabetes -- from her daddy's "genes," meaning his pants ... his jeans!
My wife Brenda recently had a birthday. Laura sent an email to the parents list saying "Brenda is 48" which triggered a bunch of "Oh my you're low!" responses rather than "Happy birthday" notes. The best responses were "Hypo Birthday Brenda!" and "have lots of cake - you won't be 48 anymore."
Ashley, diagnosed in March 2003, has a 4 year old sister, Alyssa. Alyssa tells everyone she sees that her sister is DIETbetic.
One time I was checking my blood sugar and I had just put the test strip in meter. My dad came over and looked at it and thought that I was 23. He started panicking and rushed to tell my mother that we needed to take me to the hospital because I was low. But when he came back and was ready to take me, I told him that he had mistaken the calibration code for the test strip for my blood sugar.
Our son Josh was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in July 2006. He and his dad were wrestling around and Joshua shouted,"Oh Dad you are crushing my pancreas!" As I was walking through the room I said, "Well that's okay, it's not working anyway." We all got a big kick out of this one.
My five-year-old son Quin was just recently diagnosed Type 1. After explaining how exercise is still very important to stay healthy, Quin decided to go out and ride his new bike. I told him he needed to put sunblock on first. "I hate sunblock!" he said. I reminded him how we didn't want to get skin cancer and he came back with, "I know, I already have diabetes!"
Massachusetts is going to be selling a JDRF License plate, thanks to the Massachusetts Rotary Club. The club came up with the idea after hearing my daughter Lauren speak. They told me recently, since Lauren was their inspiration, I could choose the first number plate. They fully expected me to say "1." But, being the parent of a child with diabetes, I chose the number we all yearn for: 104. I figure every parent of a child with diabetes will laugh when they see my plate!
My seven year old daughter, who has had diabetes for five years, was having a bath one night and my wife was attempting to "street" proof her. She asked Veronica, "What do you do if some stranger comes up to you and offers you candy?" My daughter's response was, "So long as it doesn't have any carbs it's ok with me!"
My son was diagnosed at 21 months. At age three his ID bracelet broke. He handed me the remains, raised his little arm, and said, "Look mom I'm not diabetic anymore." It was hard to explain that it didn't work that way.
I'm 20 years old and I always go to my endocrinologist appointments by myself. Well on Friday I had an appointment and later that day my mom and I were driving home from the store and talking about how my appointment went. All of a sudden she looked at me and said, "How was your A1OC?" I just looked at her and she started laughing and said, "Oops! I combined your A1C with The O.C." It was hilarious.
My daughter Sarah went to a party last weekend. She was getting ready to leave and a guy called her over and asked, "So why are you wearing your garage door opener?" He actually did know what it was. It was her insulin pump.
When I was in 6th grade and went to school before lunch I had to test my level. One day the nurse looked at the meter and panicked at my result. she said, "Oh my, you are 561!" She went crazy. Later we found out the meter was upside down -- I was 165.
My son Fox was diagnosed at age 4 in 1999. My favorite memory is at about 6 months in to having had diabetes he was quietly playing with his LEGO. I asked him what he was doing and he said "these policemen are taking these dead people by boat to this island. All these people on the island have diabetes. The policemen are going to take the pancreases out of these dead people and put it into the people with diabetes to cure them." I explained to Fox that that was known as a transplant and that someday he could grow up to be a surgeon and help cure people ... He liked that idea. How he ever knew about the concept of a transplant in the first place still blows my mind as we had never told him about that procedure.
My son Austin was diagnosed when he was 5. He lives with my parents. Whenever I used to phone him, I would always end off our telephone conversation with "Give me some sugar" and he would give me a kiss over the phone. After he was diagnosed, I asked him for "some sugar" to which he replied "can't have sugar anymore, gonna have to give you some sweetener!"
My 4 year old Hannah has had diabetes for one year now. Recently, we have been talking a lot about doctors trying to find a CURE for diabetes. The other night Hannah turned to me and asked, "Mom, when are they going to find a CAREER for diabetes?"
On our semi annual family road trip last year from Massachusetts to Florida, I was occupying the time by reading a novel, while my three kids were in the back seat playing the typical car games. The game (which was explained to me later) was to see who could find the lowest gas prices. Things were being said and I was deeply concentrating and tuning out the world while reading my book, until my daughter with type one shouted 257. I immediately turned to the back seat and said you need to correct! Well, everyone started laughing at me including my husband who was driving (he was part of the game the kids were playing). I couldn't understand what was so funny until they finally stopped laughing to tell me my daughter was shouting out gas prices.
The other day, I heard my daughter's cell phone ringing in her purse. I didn't know exactly where it was. I reached in and picked up what I thought was the phone. Wrong. It was her Precision Xtra meter! It wasn't in a case and it looked the size of the phone.
My son was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes shortly after his second birthday. When he was six, I had to wake him up and give him a snack one night. After eating his cereal in bed, he asked me "Mom, do you think you're lucky to have a kid with diabetes or unlucky to have a kid with diabetes?" I had to bite my cheek to keep from crying and said, "I think I'm lucky to have you as a kid, diabetes or no diabetes."
My 6 year old son (diagnosed at 3) and I were at church receiving communion. He had never received communion before. They passed the bread and he looked at me funny and I said, "Just take a piece." He did. When they brought the juice, I again said, "Just take one." He then looked at me and said "Mommy, is this my snack?"
My elder daughter had our baby books out today, and was looking at the page showing the information collected when they were born. "Hey Mum," she shouted, "Rachel was 2860 gms (6lb 5oz), how many carbs was she?"
While riding down the road recently, my nine year old diabetic daughter calls out "420" from the backseat. My husband and I both panic and begin the procedure to lower her blood sugar....only to realize she was just announcing the time, 4:20pm in the afternoon!
My six-year-old son who was diagnosed at 23 months was asking me about DKA. I explained to him that DKA happens when you don't get enough insulin. I also told him that the only time he'd ever been in DKA was when he was first diagnosed because he wasn't getting any insulin at all since we didn't know he had diabetes. He looked at me sternly and said, "Mom! You should have looked at my i.d. bracelet!"
Our 3 year old daughter (diagnosed at 14 months) was feeding our family cat. In a very surprised voice she stated, "What! This has 29 carbs!" She was "reading" the nutrition facts on the bag of cat food.
My three year old daughter Haley and I were reading one of her favorite bedtime stories, The Very Hungry Caterpillar. When we got to the page with all of the junk food the caterpillar ate, Haley named all of the goodies: a piece of cake, a piece of candy, pie, sausage, etc. After the very last one she said in all seriousness, "Mommy, he needs to check his blood sugar. He ate too much!"
I read about the person whose "vibrate" mode on her pump caused confusion at Christmas dinner. I have a similar story. I was sixteen, and getting ready for my first big party. I got there and the music was so loud, I knew I'd never hear my pump if it beeped. So, I changed it to vibrate, and put in in its customary location--my bra. The boy whose birthday we were celebrating kept wanting to slow dance with me and kept pulling me closer. Suddenly, my pump starts vibrating and he leapt back quickly and demanded to know if my dad had me wired somehow! I didn't bother to correct him.
My son Thomas is 11 years old and has had diabetes for 9. Recently he was asking about the early years and was it hard to take care of a toddler with diabetes. As I explained about the "honeymoon period" he commented that it was then that he and diabetes got married. Quickly he followed up with the comment, "Maybe someday we'll get divorced."
I recently figured out how to work the vibrate mode on my pump and it has shocked me a couple of times, but just today was the best one yet. At my grandmother's house at Christmas dinner, my pump vibrated and I thought it was my cell phone, which I had also set on silent/vibrate. And even though my cell is a little smaller than my pump, I somehow mistook it. Yes, I answered my pump at the Christmas dinner table.
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