Humorous Tidbits from 2005The diagnosis of diabetes changes you and your family forever. However, in between the challenges of caring for diabetes come amusing moments that remind us of the important things in our lives, like our families and laughing.
My son Connor, age 6, was diagnosed in April. Since his diagnosis we have kept a drawer of "free food" in the fridge that he can eat whenever he wants. A couple of days ago after playing in the snow, we did his lunch fingerstick, which was a little high. He was kind of quiet for a while, then on the way to his grandmother's he said to me, "Mom, is snow free?" I was confused until he followed it up with, "Because I ate a lot of it and maybe that's why my stick was high." Just another conversation I never thought I would be having.
When Marissa was home over the weekend, I got up to test her around 4 a.m. (she was staying up until 1:30 or 2:30 doing whatever in her room). Anyway, the one night, I picked up the strips, looked at the code on the meter saying 26 and said to myself, "Guess I'd better change the code since the vial says 50." In that split second, it dawned on me that the "50" I saw on the vial was the NUMBER of strips in the vial. Code 26 was written on the vial, too. It helps to be COMPLETELY conscious when testing our kids.
Our 11 year old, recently diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, treats a low with 3 marshmallows. Her 10 year old cousin saw Grandpa snacking on marshmallows this week and said to him, "I didn't know you also had diabetes."
I was about to inject my dinner insulin when my kitten, Sabrina, jumped on my bed to investigate what I was doing. She saw the plunger on my syringe and, thinking it was a toy, she went to bat at it. She hit the plunger and pushed the syringe into my leg. She then ran off the bed and continued to play with the white cap that I had thrown on the floor for her to play with before I started doing my shot.
When my son started kindergarten, five nurses came to the school to meet him and get used to his insulin pump. When it got very quiet, he announced that when he dies and goes to heaven he will not have diabetes anymore. It was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. Then the head nurse said that when she goes to heaven, she won't be so ugly anymore. Michael said, "You're not that ugly Cindy."
- Mary Jennifer
My 8 year old son Nolan had his first Halloween with diabetes this year. His dad took the boys Trick or Treating for half a mile up to my mom's house, which is a long and fairly busy main street on a middle and high school route. Due to the vast amount of trick-or-treaters, my mom ran out of candy by 6:30 and went to the store to get some more. Her husband, Charlie, was giving the kids cash when my husband our two boys arrived. So, Nolan, knowing that he was not going to be eating a majority of his candy, started giving candy out of his own bag to trick-or-treaters, smiling and telling them "Happy Halloween!" Everyone had to just had to stand back and watch in silence.
My son has had type 1 diabetes for the past six years. On one occasion, I caught him trying to prick the paw of his lab-retriever, "Uppy." Just before he was about to prick Uppy's paw, I put a halt to it and asked him why in the world would he want to hurt his dog Uppy. He responded by saying, "But mom, I don't want to see Uppy go into a diabetic coma. I was going to test his blood sugar!" I had to explain that Uppy was fine and did not need his paw poked or his blood sugar checked.
My 5 year old (diabetic) daughter was mad at me the other day. She came walking into the kitchen with her backpack full with all her stuff. She really knows what buttons to push, telling me: "I'm running away, I'm taking a lot of candy, and I'm not taking any insulin!"
I am getting a pump in about two weeks and so a month or so I got to try one out and I stuck some supplies in my diabetes bag. Well a few weeks later my friends and I were in the car and I had just eaten something really sticky. I took out an alcohol swab and wiped off my mouth and hands. Suddenly they started becoming really really sticky. I got my fingers and lips stuck together and when I pulled my fingers apart the skin stretched between them. By this time all of my friends were wondering what was going on with me. Turns out that swab I used wan't alcohol -- it was one that you use for a site change that makes it sticky. I had a heck of a time getting that stuff off, not to mention that we were all cracking up!
I use ice or a similar cold pack to numb my skin before changing my pump sets. I was in a hurry the other day, and I grabbed the closest thing in the freezer. It was a nice square, and left no water on the site that could interfere with site adhesion. I wasn't thinking about what I had grabbed until my friend asked why I was walking around with a block of frozen cheese slices on my side.
This is yucky, but you know kids. My son was getting ready for school and was blowing his nose and said to me, "Hey mom, you know how little kids pick their noses and eat it? Well, I wonder how many carbs are in boogers?" Oh how gross! I laughed and laughed! There's a boy for you!
One day in my daughters' grade 2 class the teacher was discussing how petting an animal can help lower blood pressure. However, my daughters' best friend misunderstood the teacher. She told her teacher, in quite a serious tone, that it was a good thing that Amber had three cats as it would really help Amber lower her blood sugar level.
Amelia snuggled up to me one morning and asked "Mom, do you love me?" "Of course," I answered. "Why?" "Well, because you're sweet, and smart, and kind, and because you and I are meant to be together. So, do you love me?" I asked in return. "Yes, because you're nice, and you take care of my diabetes, and we have the same pants." "What was that last one?" I asked. "We have the same pants," she repeated. I looked at her yellow fleece and my black denim. Noting my confusion, she quickly replied, "Genes, I mean we have the same genes!"
While putting on my makeup, my 8-year-old diabetic daughter was looking at a lipstick case with several different colors in it. She said, "Hey, this looks like my ketone strip -- this shade is high and this one is trace."
While driving past the local "Lowes" hardware store, our five year old son with diabetes started to laugh and said, "I had a low at Lowes, remember that?" He thought it was so weird (and hilarious)...funny how he made the connection.
I walked into the kitchen and heard my husband say to our 10 year old son Daniel, who has diabetes, "Two point five (bolus)." I looked at Daniel and said, "Are you high?" Our 13 year old son Steven, who doesn't have diabetes, looked at me and said, "Not many parents ask their 10 year old if they're high." We all laughed and agreed that was a good thing!
Our daughter, Lillian was diagnosed on February 16, 2005 at the age of three. She has a best friend named Luke. Luke was over for lunch the other day and saw me take Lilly's "levels." After cooking their grilled cheese for lunch I asked if anyone would like ketchup. There must have been a red connection because Luke said, "I would like my grilled cheese plain please, and I don't want any blood on my finger either."
My daughter was diagnosed at age four, one month before her fifth birthday. We were watching TB and the commercial for Liberty Medical came on. This was only a couple of weeks after she was diagnosed, and she heard them talking about diabetics and said, "They said 'diabetes' mom. I got the right diabetes, right mom?" I wanted to cry but all I could do was laugh and say, "Yes, you have diabetes too."
- Mariana from Chile
You buy that monkey named Pumpernickel that wears the pump to make it easier for your toddler get used to the pump. When the time for wearing the pump comes, you explain to him that he shouldn't touch his site or take it out, because he will be very sick. After a while he decides to remove the site from the monkey to see how sick the monkey will be, and then tells you that you will have to give the monkey a shot of insulin, because he's going to be very sick and then adds: "Pumpernickel has been wearing that pump while I was on shots, now I'm wearing the pump, he has to do it on shots to see how it is!"
Joshua (8, diagnosed 18 m) was low about 2am the other night. I fed him the Pringles from his Lunchable. The next afternoon when it was time for lunch, he was looking for his Pringles, and was quite mad that he ate them, and in his own words, "without being able to enjoy them." Guess I'll have to have the lunch Pringles vs. the 2am Pringles.
After helping to serve a pre-game dinner to my 14-year-old son's Junior Varsity football team, I said to my son, "Check ya later" as I was leaving. When I realized the double meaning behind my words, I looked back and said, "Literally." We both got a laugh.
Two, four, six, eight is how two-and-a-half year old Ella counts. She was diagnosed at age 14 months so before she has learned her 1-2-3s she counts by two! Those chips, fries, and grapes need to be counted out for her insulin-to-carb ratio. It is so cute to hear her voice count by two's. It took me a little bit of time to figure what how she learned to count by two's. Than I realized that is how I count while giving her snacks!
We recently painted my daughter's room. We gave her the choice of color. I picked out a pretty shade of pink and she said "No way!" I asked, "Why not? You want a pink room." She said, "I don't want any color that is on a ketone strip!" Sure enough, that was the color of moderate ketones!
It was early when I woke up and stepped on the weight scale and it read LOW. I thought oh no I'm low! Then I realized the scale had a low battery ... and I don't have diabetes, my 7 year old daughter does.
My five-year-old niece has diabetes. She came to visit us and was sitting in our hot tub with my two children. I got a chemical test strip to check the chlorine level and was dipping it into the water when my niece turned to my daughter and said, "Hey, does this hot tub have diabetes too?"
We were at the local county fair and my 15 year old daughter insisted we not leave until she had a frozen lemonade. She pleaded: "Oh please Mommy, I have been saving up my insulin all day for this!"
I had just got finished checking my daughter's blood sugar and had left her bag on the washing machine. When I came back in the kitchen my non D son had her lancet and was holding it to the chicken that we were having for dinner. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "I am checking the chicken's blood sugar."
One day my mom and I were in a museum when I had to check for snack. I was 310. Yes I was high...but it was a strange type of high. Later I looked at the memory of my blood sugar meter and noticed that when I was 310 the time was 3:10 and the date was March 10th!
My wife and I, who are in the health care profession, were discussing how we recently had a rash of patients who did not have health insurance and the complications and limitations in choices it presented those patients. My wife concluded by saying to our 12 year old son with diabetes that when he became an adult he didn't have the "luxury" of not having health insurance because without it he would have trouble affording all his insulin supplies which could have a drastic effect on his life. Without skipping a beat he responded, "But the good news is that I just saved a bundle on my car insurance with Geico!"
After reading about the high usage of Meth in the county we live in, I was discussing drug use with my 11 year old son. He said, "Mom, you don't have to worry about me doing drugs, I wouldn't know the carb count."
My granddaughter Paige, who is three, was recently in the emergency room because of a low blood sugar. The nurse was checking her blood sugars to make sure they were coming up. When her blood sugar got to 90, the nurse told the doctor, "She's 90." Paige hollered, "I'm not 90, I'm only 3."
I had to laugh when I overheard my girls plus my two day care girls discussing what they needed to pack for their "Vacation." One of my little daycare kids, who is 4, told my daughter, "I packed your needle Amber in case your blood sugars are high."
- Mary Beth
My 11-year-old son with diabetes had a blood blister on his toe, which we cured. Afterward, he said, "Boy Mom, that was like 15 test strips worth of blood!"
My three-year-old daughter had been diabetic for two years when my five-year-old son was diagnosed as well. My husband didn't want to tell him, but of course we had to or else he wouldn't understand why he was getting a shot. We sat him down before dinner and told him that he was diabetic, just like his sister. He immediately started to cry (as did my husband and myself), when suddenly he blurts out, "But I hate diet Sprite!"
My 8 year old son had only been diagnosed one week when I was reading the news online. There was a headline telling of a diabetic man who had just climbed Mt. Everest. I showed this to him hoping to encourage him. His response: "You mean I have to climb Mt. Everest now?"
Aidan (age 5, diagnosed at age 1, pumping for 3 years) recently had his 5 year old well visit at his pediatrician and was asked to draw a self portrait. I left him alone with his paper and pen and noticed that he was pulling his pump out of his pump pouch while drawing. I still just sat back at watched. A few minutes later he was done, he included his full name on the paper and held up his drawing for us to see. It was a perfect picture of his pump. We asked him what it was and he said, "Me...my pump...can't you tell, it looks just like me!" The doctor and I both had to turn our back to hide our tears.
After my son's endo appointment I took him to get his HbAlc done at the lab, because his doctor won't do the HbAlc in the office because insurance doesn't reimburse enough. The prescription has a list of labs with the ones that the doctor wants circled. Listed under HbAlc, which is not circled, is "HCG quantitative," which is circled. I handed the prescription to the phlebotomist, who read it, glanced over at my son and then asked me, "Does he need a pregnancy test?"
My eight-year-old son recently spoke to his class about an upcoming walk to cure diabetes and invited them to come and walk on behalf of his ten-year-old diabetic sister. He told me that he explained diabetes to his class and told them the following: "The white blood cells in my sister's body attacked her pancreas and now she doesn't have any more eyelids."
My daughter has had diabetes for over three years now. She is nearly seven and wears a pump. I was cleaning her closet the other day and found one of her bears had a pair of her underpants on. I went to take them off and found that she had a pump "set" stuck to the bear's butt. I went to take it off and she screamed, "That's her set, don't take that off, she'll go high and get ketones!"
My son (non-diabetic child) was riding in the car yesterday and asked, "Mom, what are key tones?" My first response or thought of course was diabetic ketones. I started to explain and he said, "No Mom. I am trying to program my cell phone and it wanted to know what tone I want for my keys." We all laughed at this one!
My son, Chad, was diagnosed at age four. That year we bought him a hamster. He named it "Sugar." Next year we bought another hamster when Sugar ran away after the cage was accidentally left open. He named the next hamster, "Cookie." We could only guess what was on his mind!
Last week Maggie, my daughter who has type 1 diabetes, and I were in the car doing some errands and we passed a church that had a very tall, skinny steeple. Maggie screamed, "Mom! Oh my gosh! Look at the size of that needle!"
My friend Josh and I met at diabetes camp about ten years ago. We have both had diabetes for about fifteen years, and we are both on insulin pumps. I always tuck the extra cord into the band of my pants, so it does not hang out; whereas Josh lets his dangle half way down his leg (he uses the long infusion set cord). I always tell him that he shouldn't let it dangle because it is bound to get caught on something, but he ignores it. We were going bowling a few weeks ago, Josh parked the car and we got out and shut the doors. I heard Josh exclaim, "AAH." I ran to the other side of the car to see what was wrong, and I saw Josh standing outside of the car with his cord stretched back into the car. We looked in the driver side window and saw his pump, sitting on the seat, inside the locked car. The long, out-in-the-open cord had gotten hooked on the seat belt when he got out of the car, and the pump came out of his pocket and stayed on the seat, while he got out of the car, and locked the door! I told him so... :-)
Ever since my son, who is now four years old, was diagnosed we've kept a juice in our fridge made with Splenda that is only for him. While at the store the other day, he spotted the juice and declared, "Mom, there's my favorite juice, Diabetes Splash!". He was referring the the Diet V8 Splash.
My son was diagnosed on November 29, 2004. He was 15 at the time. Since this is all new to us, we are doing finger pokes in the middle of the night. One night I went in and did the poke and my heart sunk. I said, "My God, it's 28!" Steven looked at me and said, "Mom, you have it upside down, it's 82." Oh well I was tired.
Our son, who is eight years old, does not always tell us he is low per say. Instead, he will give us an exact number, for example, "I feel like I am 53 right now mom!" Funny enough, he generally comes pretty close.
I had to respond to the tidbit about the dog, whose favorite toy is a test strip bottle. My son Tony, age 7, has type 1 diabetes, and a cat named Rocket. The cat's favorite toy is the plastic end piece on a syringe. Rocket waits for me to load the syringe with insulin because he knows when I'm done, I'll toss the "toy" down to him to play with.
I had to smile as I was driving two little girls, both of whom have Type 1. One said, "Well, I had a great number and I dropped to 57." And the other, not to be outdone, said, "Well, I was 347 and I dropped to 170 in 10 minutes." I'm sure the conversation would have continued had we not reached our destination!
As a school nurse, I get many opportunities to work with students living with diabetes, in my clinic, their classrooms, the gym, etc. I have a fifth grader newly diagnosed type 1 who has been working very hard at recognizing his own personal signs of highs or lows. Recently, he had a substitute teacher in his elementary class, who normally substituted in more urban middle schools. The boy with type 1 went to the sub very energetically and proclaimed to the sub and class, "I feel high! I feel really high!" You should have seen the look on that substitute's face!
Four years ago, one of my daughters was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of three. Most phrases and medical terminology associated with diabetes are part of our family's vocabulary. I never realized just how deeply embedded these phrases are until I overheard my nine-year-old non-diabetic daughter talking to her older brother. The two of them had picked up Batman Returns from their grandparent's home and were trying to convince me that they were old enough to see it. She was reading the video jacket to him. She read, "Batman Returns stars Danny Devito, Michelle Pfeiffer and someone named Michael Ketones." I guess Michael Keaton should also check his blood sugar.
My two-year-old with diabetes ate all the food out of the cat's dish. Initially I worried about the cat food making him sick. But it turns out cat food is safe for humans to eat. The bigger problem was determining how many carbs a dish of cat food has!
On a site change the day before Halloween, my daughter Megan (8, dx'd at 5) told me to make sure I refill her insulin pump reservoir because she was going to be doing a lot of bolusing.
Diabetes always has its challenges. When Kiersten, now nearly 13, was about 4, she had one day where her numbers were unusually high. When I asked her what she'd eaten and whether she could think of ANYTHING that she may have had, she looked a bit puzzled. I asked her again, and she said, "I did have one of Bailey's dogbones. I didn't think THAT would matter."
Our daughter received some bath products for a gift recently. As I was running the bath water, I was also reading the label on the bottle of bubble bath. She looked at me and asked, "How many carbs are in bubbles, Mom?"
A co-worker's grandson was hospitalized with low blood sugar and my daughter said that he could have some her blood since she had too much sugar in her blood.
The other night we went to Popeye's for dinner. My 11 year-old daughter with diabetes went to the soda machine to get a drink and started getting some Fanta Fruit Punch. I asked her why she was getting that, because she knows it has sugar. She looked at me and said "Mom, it says right here that is non-carbonated." I didn't understand what she was thinking at first, but then I saw it, "non-CARB-inated." Obviously a child with diabetes didn't invent that word!
When my daughter Courtney went on a school band trip while in Grade 6, I went as a chaperone. We decided to visit the insectatarium in Conerbrook, Newfoundland, where there is every insect imaginable. The children took great delight in buying chocolate covered crickets and showing the chaperones how delicious they were to eat. Very seriously Courtney looked at me and said, "Mom, this is the only time in my life that I am glad I have diabetes." It was the best excuse in the world for not trying this edible delight!
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